Discovering Genuine Empathy
Jesus Emptied Himself
The daily Christian walk is portrayed in many different ways in the Scriptures.
I would like to add another description that perhaps sheds light on the core of the challenge.
Paul writes that we are to follow the example of Jesus who...
... existed in the form of God, but did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied Himself,
taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men.
Being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death,
even death on across. —Philippians 2:7-8
Perhaps the key to understanding Jesus’ humility is the understanding of the concepts—
grasped and emptied. This is the aspect of Jesus that may be the most opposed to our human nature.
Jesus was willing to let go of equality with God and empty Himself.
In contrast, we hold on to our prejudices, resentments, pettiness— and we are so full of ourselves!
Even when we are practicing humility, we seldom really empty ourselves.
Consider how we listen to each one another.
Typically when you or I listen to someone else—
since our natural inclination is to explain, fix or defend--
we are not really listening, we are thinking about we are going to say.
Even in this daily practice, we have trouble emptying ourselves.
We even get into a competition. Someone has something to say on a topic,
we begin thinking about our opinion or experience that is better.
Empathy and Emptying
One aspect of compassion is empathy.
Empathy is not sympathy, nor projection.
Empathy is not ‘putting yourself in someone’s shoes.’
Sympathy is a natural emotional reaction to feel badly for another’s pain or distress,
but consider that children and even pets can feel sympathy.
Sympathy alone is not enough.
James reminds us that feeling badly for someone
means little without genuine caring and effective help (James 2:15-16).
Empathy takes selfless imagination and discipline to put away preconceived ideas and to really try to understand another person.
Genuine empathy goes against my selfish nature
because it demands that I empty myself—
constantly thinking, “Forget me, what is this really like for the other person?”
Projection is faux-empathy— asking, “What would I think or feel if I was in their situation?”
This leads to quick judgments, patronizing attitudes and simplistic advice, “Well I’d just do this or that if I was him/her.”
Advice-givers make pronouncements
about how the other person should feel, think or act.
Christians are often guilty of this.
Incidentally, projection is what fills political discussion/talk shows.
Projection is toxic.
Everyone shouts and projects,
few people are willing to empty themselves of preconceived notions and really listen.
Genuine empathy is what missing in today’s discourse on the major issues of politics and race-relations.
Name-calling, labeling and stereotyping are all akin to this.
Remember some of the strongest words of Jesus addressed this--
“anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell” (Matthew 2:22).
“Let them eat cake.”
Supposedly, upon learning that the starving peasants had no bread,
a French princess projected what she would do with no bread, and famously said,
“Let them eat cake!”
This is an extreme example of how you or I might sound--
if, instead of sincerely asking, ‘what is this really like for him/her?’—
we superficially put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Even if well intentioned,
it sounds patronizing and at best comes across as being insensitive and can often be just cruel and condemning.
Projection is easy and allows us to remain full of ourselves.
True empathy requires us to empty ourselves.
It takes time, effort and patience.
It is a discipline that gets better with practice and learning.
But it is almost a lost discipline.
I would like to claim empathy as a necessary discipline and
is how Christian compassion demonstrates itself in everyday living.
Genuine empathy reflects Jesus’ humility.
In fact, the Incarnation was an exercise of empathy!
Jesus is now able to be our compassionate,
empathetic high priest because He was tempted in always such as we are (Hebrews 4:15).
The daily Christian walk is portrayed in many different ways in the Scriptures.
I would like to add another description that perhaps sheds light on the core of the challenge.
Paul writes that we are to follow the example of Jesus who...
... existed in the form of God, but did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied Himself,
taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men.
Being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death,
even death on across. —Philippians 2:7-8
Perhaps the key to understanding Jesus’ humility is the understanding of the concepts—
grasped and emptied. This is the aspect of Jesus that may be the most opposed to our human nature.
Jesus was willing to let go of equality with God and empty Himself.
In contrast, we hold on to our prejudices, resentments, pettiness— and we are so full of ourselves!
Even when we are practicing humility, we seldom really empty ourselves.
Consider how we listen to each one another.
Typically when you or I listen to someone else—
since our natural inclination is to explain, fix or defend--
we are not really listening, we are thinking about we are going to say.
Even in this daily practice, we have trouble emptying ourselves.
We even get into a competition. Someone has something to say on a topic,
we begin thinking about our opinion or experience that is better.
Empathy and Emptying
One aspect of compassion is empathy.
Empathy is not sympathy, nor projection.
Empathy is not ‘putting yourself in someone’s shoes.’
Sympathy is a natural emotional reaction to feel badly for another’s pain or distress,
but consider that children and even pets can feel sympathy.
Sympathy alone is not enough.
James reminds us that feeling badly for someone
means little without genuine caring and effective help (James 2:15-16).
Empathy takes selfless imagination and discipline to put away preconceived ideas and to really try to understand another person.
Genuine empathy goes against my selfish nature
because it demands that I empty myself—
constantly thinking, “Forget me, what is this really like for the other person?”
Projection is faux-empathy— asking, “What would I think or feel if I was in their situation?”
This leads to quick judgments, patronizing attitudes and simplistic advice, “Well I’d just do this or that if I was him/her.”
Advice-givers make pronouncements
about how the other person should feel, think or act.
Christians are often guilty of this.
Incidentally, projection is what fills political discussion/talk shows.
Projection is toxic.
Everyone shouts and projects,
few people are willing to empty themselves of preconceived notions and really listen.
Genuine empathy is what missing in today’s discourse on the major issues of politics and race-relations.
Name-calling, labeling and stereotyping are all akin to this.
Remember some of the strongest words of Jesus addressed this--
“anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell” (Matthew 2:22).
“Let them eat cake.”
Supposedly, upon learning that the starving peasants had no bread,
a French princess projected what she would do with no bread, and famously said,
“Let them eat cake!”
This is an extreme example of how you or I might sound--
if, instead of sincerely asking, ‘what is this really like for him/her?’—
we superficially put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Even if well intentioned,
it sounds patronizing and at best comes across as being insensitive and can often be just cruel and condemning.
Projection is easy and allows us to remain full of ourselves.
True empathy requires us to empty ourselves.
It takes time, effort and patience.
It is a discipline that gets better with practice and learning.
But it is almost a lost discipline.
I would like to claim empathy as a necessary discipline and
is how Christian compassion demonstrates itself in everyday living.
Genuine empathy reflects Jesus’ humility.
In fact, the Incarnation was an exercise of empathy!
Jesus is now able to be our compassionate,
empathetic high priest because He was tempted in always such as we are (Hebrews 4:15).